when the sun has set
by Miss-KateK
Summary: 'It's been so long since the last time he last saw her. She's infinitely more beautiful than he remembers.' Future fic.


**when the sun has set**

X

"With her

I learned some

fires last longer

and burn hotter

than other fires,

but all the same

in time

all fires

go out.

- b.t.

X

They meet again in a bookstore.

He notices her first and pauses, air knotting in his lungs.

She's flipping over a book in her hands, fingertips tracing the edges as she admires the words on the back. It's been so long since the last time he last saw her. She's infinitely more beautiful than he remembers, even his most vivid memories of her not doing justice.

Her hair is lighter now and several inches shorter, her skin a few shades darker. The violent red of her winter coat sets off the blush of her cheeks and the pink of her lips he's missed so much. She looks good.

She always looks good.

He must have imagined this scenario a thousand different times; has let it play out a thousand ways, all the different things he might say. Whether he'd ask why she never came back or whether he'd apologise for the solitude he caused her or whether he'd shout at her, red-faced and balled fists because he can't accept that after everything they'd been through this was their _magnificent_ ending.

But now –

Now.

He has nothing to say. And he should leave.

But then her eyes lift from the hardcover in her hand and they fall to his.

She falters. "Castle."

X

It's been ten months since they went their separate ways.

Since she left him.

He'd woken up in the dark of the night, found her dressed at the foot of their bed, cheeks glimmering and already stained with tears. He'd reached for her and she'd moved so willingly into the cage of his arms, weeping quietly into the crook of his neck. Hot tears had spilled onto his skin and his body had burned in agony for her.

"Kate."

Her name rough on his tongue was all he'd managed before the brutal shift in mood.

Before she'd retreated.

Her slender frame wouldn't steady, still shaking as she curled backward, away from him. She'd slid her ring off her trembling finger and pressed it deep into the palm of his hand. And then she'd left.

He still wakes up in the night even now, her name a gasp on his lips, the icy whisper of her last words a rope so tight around his throat.

_This isn't working_.

He'd thought time would make it easier; that he'd learn to live apart from her. He never could.

He was angry at first, for so long. Angry at her for giving up on him. That after everything they'd been through, after all the years of denial and fighting and idiocy it had taken them just to get to that point, that she'd walked out so easily.

It had taken months but he sees it now. The blame was never on her. He was the one who had given up first.

When Espositohad first been killed he became an empty shell, guilt burning everything inside him into ash. He barred himself from her, kept to his own shadows even when she tried to pry him out. He wouldn't let her shoulder the burden.

"If you won't talk to me, will you at least see a therapist?"

He'd refused her request at first.

"It helps," she'd promised, voice as tender as the fingers stroking the line of his jaw.

He went for two weeks. It only made everything worse. All he could focus on was how it was his error that had taken his friend's life.

Castle should never have been there. She'd told him not to be there.

He'd been worried about her. He'd saved her life –

But it had cost Esposito's instead.

X

There's a pregnant pause, the air dense as it hangs between them with all the words they never used. But then she's tucking the book under the wing of her arm and moving to stand at his side.

"How are you?" she murmurs.

He bobs his head once and struggles to keep his eyes locked with hers. "Good." The lie is venom in his mouth. "And you?"

Castle winces at the ache in his voice, notes of desperation carried loud. If she hears it, at least she doesn't acknowledge it.

"I'm okay."

Her fingers fiddle with the pair of gloves in her hand before they rise to tuck her hair behind her ear. Mornings spent enveloped in their bed rise sudden in his mind, his fingers caressing golden hair cascading over the silk of her skin.

He swallows hard, tries to tamp down the drowning need for her that alights through his veins.

Those days are gone.

"How's Alexis?" she asks politely.

"She's doing well. She's engaged now, actually. Michael proposed two months ago."

The smile on Kate's face is so radiant, free of the dark lines that had haunted her face for during their last days together. "Tell her congratulations."

"I will." He won't. "And how are - "

Lanie. Ryan.

The names die on his tongue as his heart thrashes brutally against his ribcage, blood toxic with guilt. He won't ask about the people who loved Esposito most. He doesn't deserve closure.

"How is your dad?" he asks instead.

Recognition sparks in her eyes but she concedes. "He's well. It's his sixty-seventhnext week. Thought I'd pick up this book for him. He's been hinting at it for a while."

Castle's eyes fall to the paper in her hands, finds Patterson's name printed in bold lettering on the front. "It's a good read," he offers.

He hasn't picked up a book in months.

Kate gives a shrug of her shoulders. "I've missed his last few." Dragging her lower lip between her teeth she throws he weight to her other foot, shifts back again. "You haven't published anything lately."

No. He hasn't.

Darkness creeps out in his eyes and he can feel his skin split as the cracks begin to appear. She doesn't get to ask about that. No.

His mouth parts, dark ink of the words he can no longer write on his tongue.

Someone else beats him.

"Kate. Honey."

He cranes his neck in a search for the source of the voice. He finds a man weaving through the store, eyes locked on a point just behind Castle. He's tall and dark, sports a genuine smile and the same expensive coat sitting in his own closet. Must be doing well for himself.

"Kate. Sorry I'm late."

And then the man's lips find Kate's cheek and everything falls out beneath him.

X

She's – Oh. God.

Is she . . . Dating?

Castle blinks once, twice. But no. It's not an illusion.

Ice skitters down his spine and he feels his body lock. To her credit she tries to back up a little, an open palm persistent against the man's elbow in search of distance. Either ignorant or unwilling, he doesn't move. Staking his claim.

"Pete, this is Rick Castle. Castle, this is - "

She doesn't finish.

He's silent for a moment, then gives a single syllable charged with understanding. "Ah."

All the light has disappeared from her eyes now, a hazy blend of guilt and a plea for forgiveness swirling instead. He doesn't want to see it.

"Well." Castle swallows hard, unsticks the words from his throat. "I should go."

With his head dizzy he turns away, exits the store before he needs to catch himself on a shelf for balance.

He'll send her the divorce papers first thing in the morning.

Finish what she never could.

X

**Still contemplating whether I will add a second part to this or one day write the full story but for now this is complete. Thank you for reading.**

**- K**


End file.
